The Stadium

Clack. Ka-chunk. Clack. Ka-chunk.

The subway stank. Yellow plastic, scrubbed by rot and ignorant crustaceans.

Clack. Ka-chunk. Clack. Ka-chunk.

George looked out the window, the stone walls and blips of color a gray river.

His suit had been nice once, the red tie brighter and well pressed.  Now the shirt was stained at the cuffs, the elbows of the jacket patched with the wrong shade of black thread. His hair was thin, and his face lined.

The subway emerged onto a wide trestle, and he could see it.

The stadium. Four spotlights waved, yellow, white, green and blue.

He pressed his forehead against the glass, and closed his eyes for a moment. He could smell the grass.

George sighed, and leaned back. He brought a hand to his collar, and ran a finger around the silver collar at his neck.

He had been Shackled for years — but he never forgot that he was wearing it. Not once. Not even for a moment.

George dug into the white cup of boiled peanuts, and fished around for a large one.  He pulled out one that suited, and popped it into his mouth. He looked at the stadium again.

Placing the cup between his legs, George stared at his right hand – at his fingers. He covered it with his left, like a lighter in the wind.  He pushed his eyes close to the little cave of his fingers.

George snapped. The barest wisp of green sparks popped to life at the end of his fingers.

He leaned back against the seat. He closed his eyes, and smelled the grass of the stadium.

Fantasy Plots are ridiculous.

The Lodestar Crew, in their finest. ARTIST/W.Steven Carroll

Take any fantasy plot, and try to explain it to the uninitiated with a straight face.

Guess what?

You sound like a crazy person.

I tried to write out the plot of Lodestar, leaving out all side plots, character plots, backstory, and world building — and reduce it to it’s essence. THE MAIN PLOT. How I would explain it to someone who knows nothing about the story, and nothing about fantasy.  Here’s my first pass.

So, there’s this Gate.

Behind the Gate, is something Very Bad. VERY, Very Bad.

The only way to open this Gate is with Three Magical Items.

The Crimson Key.

The Blue Shield.

The Blood of the Precursors.

The first two items are fairly straightforward, but the third is the problem. It’s a bloodline, carrying the genetic structure of the Gate’s creators down through the centuries in a few human families.

Bad guys have sought the descendents for a long time. Other bad guys have been killing the descendents for a long time.

Bad Guys A want to control What’s Behind the Gate. Bad Guys B want to make sure that their Nefarious Plans aren’t disrupted by What’s Behind the Gate.

Enter the Heroes.

They’ve been protecting a Little Girl. A Little Girl who is the true scion of the bloodline.

Bad Guys A have managed to capture the Little Girl.

The Heroes have to get the Little Girl back, before Bad Guys A can open the Gate – or before Bad Guys B kill the Little Girl.

Can you hear me trailing off lamely towards the end? Cutting my eyes to the right, and regretting even starting? Let me try again.

There’s a Little Girl, and she’s awesome. And important. The Heroes have to keep her safe or the world blows up. Or something.

Now imagine me explaining this to someone on a subway, or an elevator. Can you see that person quietly reaching for their mace?

I guess it would help if I was wearing pants.

[What? Were you visualizing me with pants? Well, I guess that’s your mistake.]

50 Pages

Okay – okay. I know I hit the 45 page mark a couple of weeks ago — but 50 is such a nice round, impressive number.

It totally is.

I was hoping to hit 50 pages by the end of the year, so I’m stoked at being ever so slightly ahead of schedule. After the holidays, I’m going to make a plan for the next few months, so my natural laziness doesn’t derail The Thing That I Can’t Call A Book.

YEAH!

Thieves of Pice

The rogue and paladin descend, the latter’s heavy steel footfalls clanking on the ladder rungs.

The Vagabond by Remedios Varo,1958. Oil on canvas.

At the bottom of the ladder, the mouth of a tunnel, carved from earth. They follow it for a short distance, the orange light blooming brighter and the sound of of wild violin music echoing against the tunnel walls.

After several minutes’ walk, the earthen tunnel gives way to quarried stone — one of the many ruins that the city is built upon. Strange bulbous mushrooms glow with bioluminescent glee, the source of the orange light.

The two adventurers pass several others as they come closer to the source of the music. Foul-complected thieves, wispy whores with glittering knives, and several cutpurses barely old enough to be away from their mother’s apron strings. Many accost the pair, but turn aside when Corben flashes the sign of Visiting practitioner.

At last the flood of traffic leads them to a vast cavern, hundreds of feet high. Stone houses fallen into ruin fill the space, but centrally located is a tall dome, surrounded by mighty columns. The music is coming from there.

A blind man stood in the center of the ruined dome, tall spindly frame whirling like a maddened scarecrow. His eyes were tightly bound with a strip of white linen, and his hands moved feverishly on the fiddle. He ducked and bobbed around the roaring fire, never once touching the flames.

Three dozen people stand around, watching the performance with varying levels of attention. Two men and a half-orc are busily occupied, sharing the attentions of a battered looking whore. A brace of thieves loll in the puddles of a ruptured cask of wine. No one immediately pays any attention to Corben or Haskeer.

The blind man stops dancing abruptly, one leg still outstretched. A discordant note hung on the fiddle.

Without turning, he spoke.

“Who the fuck are you, and what’s your business in Oregano’s Court?”

His grisly court obligingly tittered and brayed.

Oregano tapped his jutting chin with the bow of his violin.

“What business do you have here in my city? And don’t lie to me boy, I can hear your heartbeat and smell the sweat on you. I’ll know if you speak falsehood.”

Why write fantasy?

Because the steel is sharp, and the laws are cloudy.

Because the pits are dark, and torches gutter.

Because there is no need for explanation, or justification

Because you can have a purple goblin sucker-punch a dragon, a noble minotaur strumming a lute made of stolen moonbeams, and a half-elven, half-DARK ELVEN maiden break your heart from the back of a crimson unicorn.

Literally break your heart – she cast a spell that crystallized it into Soul Ice, and her gauntlets are enchanted by a fire daemon.

Because, because, because….

[This was a comment I made on a thread asking to justify genre fiction. Comments, rebuttals, and counterspells welcome.]

Carbunkle’s Dream

Three women dance. Their dresses spin and twirl. They move around the room, and their beauty cuts. Every eye in the dance hall is upon them.

One by one, partners leap out to join the women, sharing a moment of the dance. The women seem to be

Hellen Jo

sisters, dark of eye and light of hair.

Suddenly, the music stops.

The dancers stumble and cease. Their partners leave the dance floor, turning their backs to the sisters.

A gleaming knight strides forward with three veils. One by one, he covers the face of each dancer. The sisters stand, heads bowed and do not move.

The knight claps his iron hands, and it is the peal of a bell.

The other people move across the dance floor, carefully stepping around the veiled sisters. The knight nods in satisfaction, then strides away.

The old gnome dashes through the throng of people, and pulls the veil from the first sister.

Ananda smiles down at him, her spectacles shining. The white ribbons threaded through the piercings along her brow — shining like silk worms in her long dark hair.

“Ah, at last you’ve reached out to me — what took you so long, Carbunkle?”

She looks at the gnome, waiting for his reply.

Talitha’s Story: Purple Wumpus

My uncle is a hero.

He never talks about it — and my guardian, Alvin, never talks about it, but I know it’s true.

That’s what keeps him so busy — why he can’t live with me and Alvin. The monsters he fights would chew

us up! I asked my Uncle Jonas if I could help him fight the monsters. He laughed and said I wasn’t quite ready for the Big Monsters — but I could probably handle the Purple Wumpus.

Yun Byoung Chul PENE MENN

The Purple Wumpus is a tiny little monster that hides behind your head, and no matter how fast you turn he stays right behind you! Uncle Jonas loves to point behind me and tell me all of the silly things that the Purple Wumpus is doing. Like singing a song and standing on its head – or brushing my hair for me when I’m too busy – or one time the Purple Wumpus stole a bunch of cookies from the kitchen! Uncle Jonas reached behind my head, and snatched them right away from that little monster. I asked if Alvin would be mad, and my uncle said that WE hadn’t stolen the cookies, so how could he be mad?

I wasn’t sure — and thought about it for a long time — but Uncle had already eaten three cookies, so I decided it was probably all right.

I asked Alvin one time why Uncle never slept when he visited. I could see the light under his door on every time I woke up. Alvin said that Uncle Jonas was a very busy man, and he always had lots of work to do.

I asked my Uncle if I could help him with his work, so he could take a nap. He just gave me a big hug, and told me that he had to stay up late to keep the Purple Wumpus from causing mischief like stealing all of my toys or running around tipping over all the crockery in the pantry. I asked him if we could take turns — he said it was a job for grownups, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it for a long, long time.

I can’t wait until I’m grown up, so I can go on adventures with my Uncle Jonas! Watch out Purple Wumpus — I’m getting faster every day!

[This is from a scene where various characters were telling stories around a campfire — Talitha is nine and awesome.]

Door-knob.

“Something there is  to a task done well, a true task, a right task. The door-knob turns, and knows that is is doing exactly what it was made for.”

“Are you drunk?” Simon asked, waggling his empty wooden tankard.

Merridew glared across the table, bushy white eyebrows standing at attention. The elderly Yad-Elf

Artist Unknown

gripped a silver gravy-boat, clearly intended to sail the seas of a king’s banquet table. It was mostly empty, Merridew corrected this – refilling from a dark brown keg that kept the third chair occupied.  He took a quick swallow from the business end of the container, all while continuing to glare at the gray-coated rogue sitting across from him.

“Cause you sound drunk. You’re talking about doorknobs. Knobs on doors – the little turny things.” Simon continued.

“That is not my point at all, you besotted simpleton. This is why I despise drinking with humans.” the elf said.

“I’m drunk. See? I said it. Feels good to say it. It is totally fine for you to admit that you’re drunk.” the rogue held his tankard to the keg, hand wavering.

Merridew sat the gravy-boat down, and massaged his temples with long, knobby fingers.

“I’m just saying that doorknobs have a clear purpose. A design suited for one action — and I was musing –”

Simon burped.

“– MUSING that it has to be a nice feeling. Knowing that what you’re doing is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.” Merridew pointed across the table accusingly

The rogue chuckled, and sipped from his newly filled tankard. He managed to look contrite, and nodded seriously at the elf’s expression.

The old wood elf sighed, and spread his fingers across the top of the gravy-boat. He stared down through the spaces between, watching the foam settle on the dark amber liquid.

“There’s been a few times, I’ve felt it myself. The door-knob turn in my heart.”

Simon continued to nod seriously, and made a twisting gesture with his free hand. His serious expression was marred by the slurping noise as he gulped down ale.

“Door-knob. Got it.” Simon slammed the empty tankard down.

“I hate you.” Merridew said.

The old elf stood, and walked over to the closest door. He poured a generous serving of ale onto the pitted brass doorknob. Then he kept pouring until the gravy-boat was empty. He solemnly hung the empty silver bowl on the knob.

Simon rubbed his face and snorted.

“I’ll get a mop, old man. Unless you want to baptize the lamps?”

Merridew did not reply. He wrapped his long fingers around the brass knob and turned it swiftly.

Once. Twice. A third time.

The old elf smiled, his fingertips resting on the brass.

Well, how about that?

HEY.  Six complete strangers downloaded my free e-book The Parable of the Stone Viper from lulu.com!

That’s kind of awesome – I wonder who those six people are. Did they like it? Are we best friends now? AM I INVITED TO THEIR BIRTHDAY PARTY?!?

I know this is silly, getting excited about something like that — especially because that story is right over there under the Microfiction tab — but it jazzes me up. TO THE MAX.

Well, maybe not to the max — but in the near vicinity of the max.

Not to be confused with The Maxx.

Writing Decisions

Artist Unknown

The Tao of Sommerset

1. Every action has a consequence.
2. The unexplored world will not announce itself.
3. The beautiful moment succeeds.
4. Whimsy is a precious flower. Plant liberally.
5. Obstacles are rarely insurmountable.
6. People are not just signposts.
7. The journey is the largest tree in the garden, but the rain falls everywhere.
8. Glory is bought with blood.
9. Dull questions breed dull answers.
10. A single twig announces the tiger.

Over the past year of Lodestar, I’ve tried to establish a simple rubric for most of my storytelling decisions. And because I’m an incredibly pompous sort, I codified them into these ten dictum.

Thoughts? What rules – unspoken or otherwise – guide your writing?