Reason Number Seven Why My Book is Worthless: Because It Isn’t

And here’s the one where I stop being self-deprecating, and lean on the Vainglory Lever.

In my unbiased opinion, Spell/Sword is the most important book currently available in print. It’s cheeky, unbalanced, not professionally edited — it’s peppered with the mistakes that a Level One Fantasy Author, such as myself, is bound to make. But it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter. Because I’m on to something. I’m up to something. I’m taking a swing at the whole epic fantasy genre. Tropes and troubadours and troubles and trousers. I want to break it and honor it and love it and push it screaming off a cliff.

And I’m doing it wrong, I’m making mistakes. But in the rubble I will stumble into moments of glory and wonder.

Reason #7: Because It Isn’t

I wrote a book! I worked very hard on it, and damn if it isn’t unique and spiffy.

Run down to the bookstore, or glance over your Goodreads lists. How many of them have all of these things?

– fairy tale mythos

– an eel-powered juke box

– a female protagonist with no romance subplot

Artist – Andrew – ~shu-no-kurohi. [My first fanart!]
Artist – Andrew – ~shu-no-kurohi. [My first fanart!]
– a male protagonist who uses a sword, but isn’t really that good at it

– roller-skating frogs

– a long lost civilization whose technology and architecture have completely defined the modern era — but are only barely mentioned or explained (Trust me, it’s for your own good. If you get me going about the Precursors, the Arkanic civilization, the books are going to get really, reeeeaaaaallly long.]

– lesbian bards who’s sexual preference is of almost no interest or relevance to the narrative

– foreshadowing that doesn’t resolve in the same book (it’s episodic story structure, DEAL WITH IT)

– bunnies with mechs

– villains who aren’t

– heroes who aren’t

– the only book that lives in what Terry Pratchett called the ‘consensus fantasy universe’.

– one really mean turtle

– The Gray Witch [shudder]

This book is my first controlled stab at establishing Swordpunk, and even through all my anxiety and hubris — I think it matters. I think my work matters. I think there are a lot of people who can pick up the melody, and will want to sing along.

I’m going toe to toe with authors with a lot more experience, the armory of a publisher at their back, and let’s be honest, almost as much talent. I’m never going to get there if more people don’t read the book, and join the Swordpunk Army.

Or I could be wrong. I could be talking a great game, and the book is still garbage.

Want to find out?

Here’s your chance.

Prove me wrong or join the ranks.

I freaking dare you.

Spell/Sword

FREE KINDLE EBOOK ON AMAZON

8/30 — 9/3. 2013.

Previous Reasons:

1. Sideways

2. Friendship

3. No One Is Reading It

4. The Next One Is Coming

5. The Dream

6. Dragon*Con

One thought on “Reason Number Seven Why My Book is Worthless: Because It Isn’t

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