Is that…a Walther PPK made of Valyrian Steel?



Okay, let me explain. If you get the reference, just go with me on this.

I enjoyed the newest installment in the hoary James Bond franchise quite a lot. Skyfall is a moody, textured look at the character and icon of 007 — personally I found it a perfect addition to Daniel Craig’s tenure as the character. I’ve heard varying reports about whether or not this will be his last film as “dude’s old”. But if this is his final performance as Bond, this is a perfect way to go out. Exploring the last part of the hero’s career, and a true brush with mortality and frailty.

But I there’s one thing that is revealed, that concerns me.

Spoilers henceforth.

One of my favorite sections of the movie is the final act.  Bond retreats to the moors of Scotland, and we get a glimpse of his childhood — something never shown previously in any other film. [Not even the wacky-ass original Casino Royale.] There was something primal about him returning to his ancestral manse, on his noble steed [the Aston Martin!]. Some serious low-tech battle prep — followed by the usual helicopter explosions, high kill count, brutal kicks to the face and a knife fight [of sorts] — all the action required for the end of a Bond film.

It wasn’t until the second time that I watched the movie, that I noticed something.



Right there, on the top of the gate leading to Bond’s family home.

A stag.

This can only mean one thing.

James Bond is a Baratheon.

I…I…don’t know how I feel about this.

This changes everything.

For the uninitiated, House Baratheon is from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, currently more popularly known through the HBO series, Game of Thrones. 

I don’t know how I feel, because the Baratheons are all, well… kind of dicks. [Or all kinds of dicks? How does that phrase work?]

Robert Baratheon: whoremongering drunk. Renly Baratheon: pompous fancy-lad. Stannis Baratheon: pompous grumpy-dad.

Not the most august of families — even acknowledging the political power they hold throughout the narrative. Does super-cool, badass James Bond really belong in this family?

Well….maybe, maybe not. But I do think their House words fit him to a tee.



Maybe I can get on board with this.

But if in the next Die Hard movie, it turns out that John McClaine is a Stark, Targaryen or Green-Apple Fossoway, I’m done.