Final Fight

Bear is unrelated to this post.

I’m in the home stretch of the book – only one more ridiculous fight scene to go.

Feeling some apprehension — this fight has to be face meltingly-awesome — like as awesome as every barbarian-robot doodle in a thousand 12 year old’s journals compressed into a single white-hot point of universe destroying badassitude.

Here we go….

Story on Demand: Let’s Process our Feelings.

Man, it’s getting dusty in this here blog.  I’m going to kick of this week’s Story on Demand early, just to force myself to show some bloggy-love.

This week – how about a topic? Like, Cheerios vs. Honey Nut:Discuss. I’m trying to stay focused on the last stretch of the book’s rough draft — so maybe questions?

YEAH. I will answer all questions submitted, to the best of my ability and liberally sprinkled with lies and deceit.

I’m a bully.

Hey, you nerds — give me your lunch money. And put it in this jar.

As anxious/neurotic/nervous I am about promoting my own stuff, and even admitting that I’m creating anything — I am a tireless jerk windbag when pushing my friends’ projects.

This is my friend, Dustin:

Dustin Ah Kuoi - Suspected Power Ranger

 

Isn’t he dreamy?

[PUNCH]

I SAID, ISN’T HE DREAMY?

Dustin is an excellent singer, an earnest songwriter, and entirely too nice.

He wants to record a solo album, and we’re going to give him some money to do it.

AREN’T WE?!?

Dustin Ah Kuoi – Kickstarter

CLICK THAT LINK.

He’s a great guy making great music. Do it and nobody gets hurt — further.

I’ve already decided what song I’m going to make Dustin sing for my Kickstarter Reward:

Disney – Tangled Soundtrack

So make with the money!!!

Shakespeare 2012

[I don’t normally include the explanation at the top — but this one is a doozy. This idea was submitted on Facebook by Allen.]

“Othello is running for reelection. Henry V is the GOP nominee. They wait in the green room to begin a televised debate when, suddenly, a young woman collapses of stroke. who is she? Two paramedics arrive as the scene opens.”

 

Enter two paramedics.

JARVIS

Summoned we have been, to the house

of light and sound – the television studio

where all visions fantastical

leap o’er the air to the shining

squares in each and every good man’s

noble den, couch-front and shining.

 

BERNARD

What is the sport? What

dire sickness or mortal wound

summons our white chariot

red lights flashing like

the red eye of Jove himself?

 

JARVIS

I know not, friend  —-

but I see presently a stout porter comes

henceforth to lead us to our

duty and sacred charge.

 

A television producer enters, bearing a clipboard.

GLENDA

Ah, medics — at last you arrive

fast as Hermes’ to your duty

and sacred charge — well met!

 

JARVIS

What sickness or ill calls us to this place?

Speak quick — swift action is the blessing of all

who ail and require our skill and succor.

 

GLENDA

Come hence.

 

The three discover HENRY V, one time King of England and France — and OTHELLO, a moor. They crouch over the still form of a young woman. The paramedics rush to the woman’s side and begin tending to her.

GLENDA

Honored nobles, please come away and

allow these men to fulfill their charge.

The people of America wait for you to speak

and fill their hearts with the message of

your glory, vouchsafe the country’s goals

and seize the crown imperial through

this televised debate — the time of choosing

is nigh — we must begin this play of words

‘ere more sands fall through the hourglass.

 

OTHELLO

Jupiter and blessed Pallas Athene!

I do pray this young girl can be

returned to full health and vital

how strange that she should fall

ill here, and swoon into the bosom

of foul sleep ‘ere she could

speak her dire message.

 

HENRY

Uh huh.

 

OTHELLO

What means this, friend Hal?

I know we disagree most bitterly

on the course and tack of this country’s ship.

But surely you do not suggest that I—

 

HENRY

Look, buster. I think we all know about you  and the ladies.

 

OTHELLO

Your words are dross, instead of true-gold.

How can you speak with the split tongue

of a garter snake — here on the cusp of our debate?

To take this poor woman’s fate and twist it to

suit your minstrel-song and mechanical-pander.

 

HENRY

Or should I say…..girls?

 

OTHELLO

Listen here, you mealy mouthed motherfucker —

 

JARVIS

Hark! She breathes, the flame of life

still burns within her mortal frame.

Our duty and sacred charge has been

well served here this day, this time

of legends!

 

The woman rises and approaches the two candidates.

WOMAN

Look upon my face and know despair

twenty fathoms deep your heart thrown

in iron shackles beneath the blue-green

waves of Poseidon’s kingdom.

 

OTHELLO

O, horror!

 

HENRY.

Fuck.

 

WOMAN

I served your purpose, and served your lust–

a chattel born to the lash is better served

by a quarry’s cruel labor then I was served

by you two princes of the earth.

To take a poor widow, kept in a house

with madmen and waggle-doctors —

to make me scribe your words,

plan your campaign, even pick

out the color of your tie.

Neither of you have half the manhood that I can claim.

you are bitter, empty things — gourds full of sound and air.

And now, here on the edge of your greatest glory

I come— I come to strike you down

 

GLENDA

Who are you, strange woman?

 

HENRY

Look — could you not — shit.

 

OTHELLO falls on his sword. No one notices.

 

LADY MACBETH

I am the kingmaker — I am the queen of iron

behind the prince of straw, spinning quiet webs

and laying plans for these fools’ victory.

And I will have my cup overflow with

revenge and the blood of those who have

wronged me.

 

HENRY

Hey — Lady M. I think you spilled some barbecue sauce on your dress. It’s right there….on your sleeve.

 

LADY MACBETH begins to tear at her clothing.

 

LADY MACBETH

Out! Out! Damn–

 

A ravenous bear enters. 

 

EXEUNT all pursued by bear.

 

 

 

I am writing a book.

As promised, I’ve hit the 40,000 word mark — so I will now openly refer to That Thing as a book.

I’m writing a book. A book is being written by me.

My neuroses are suiting up in nuclear fusion-powered mech suits, but there — I said it.

I’m writing a book.

THERE I SAID IT.

A Hero’s Death

Elijah leaned against the crude statue in the village green. Time and weather had done its work on the stone, its features pitted and scarred. The unknown founder’s face was unrecognizable, but it still stood its ground, keeping watch.

The old soldier ran a whetstone down the edge of his greataxe. Both edges had been grief-sharp for an hour, but he pushed the stone again and again. He stopped, and looked up into the battered face of the statue.

He could relate.

Across the dark green, the sounds of music and merrymaking spilled from the general store. The people of Jackson’s Grove had been saved by the skill and steel of the Ghosts of Gilead, his comrades.  They had shaken off the terror of the unholy attack, buried their dead neighbors and immediately insisted on a party in the adventurer’s honor. Elijah was always surprised at how quickly people could forget the shadows of death, and thrust their heads into the first cake or ale tankard they could find. But he had seen it many times — his brother had lead them to many victories large and small, and here in this tiny town of Jackson’s Grove in the middle of nowhere the same old song. Drunken celebration, life over death.

His brother. Simon. Not a birth-sibling, but a brother in arms. He was always first at the bottle, a fistful of cake and his other hand down a wench’s bodice. Laughing and singing, his weapons and cares propped against the bar and forgotten. His other comrades were just as bad.

No blood-family since the Fall. These slap-dash fighters are the only kin I have left. Swords of Faith preserve me!

So it fell to Elijah to keep watch. No one asked, and no one noticed — except for the times that he gave the warning shout. The dozen-dozen times. His back to the light, sharpening his axe in the darkness.

Desert Rocks by Kekai

Tomorrow morning he’d be the first to rise, as they snored the drink away. Running his hands over the faded map, planning their route — preparing for the dangers to come.  Someone had to, he wouldn’t fail this little legion, now that everything else had fallen to dust.

The stone hissed down his axe-blade. Elijah wiped a bead of sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

His ears pricked at a whisper of sound, and he bent low pulling the greataxe into both hands.  He scanned the darkened houses ,one by one. The sound had come from the roof of the general store, Elijah shielded his eyes from the light and saw a slim figure slipping down the side of the roof.

It was his brother, Simon.

Not like him to miss a party. Where is he going?

Something in Simon’s face kept Elijah from calling out. The way he pressed himself into the shadows and headed north — clearly not wanting to be followed.

It was probably to meet some farmer’s daughter — or to console a  young widow. But Elijah was his brother’s keeper.

And barely six hours ago they had crossed swords with devils, imps, and horrors from the Blight. The old soldier grimaced, and followed his brother into the night.

—-

Elijah followed at a distance. He was a large man, and no footpad — but the night was moonless, and his brother seemed totally focused on his destination.

A plain wood building. The Church of Linneus. Elijah felt his blood go cold. Linneus was the god of farmers, of shepherds, of the plow. But the church was empty — it’s priest had been the one that brought the devils down on his home. A filthy pact for pleasure of the flesh , Elijah had been sickened to hear. He had prayed to his own Nameless God for the grace to forgive the priest — but it had been futile. His god had been silent, and his own heart had been black and wrathful.

The priest of Linneus had forsaken his holy duty – no punishment was stern enough for that.  The pain of Hell was the least that he deserved.

Why was his brother slipping into the church? Light came from within, his brother had lit a torch. Elijah hastened to the doorway and looked within. His eyes widened in shock.

Simon’s back was to the door, and the torch was jammed into the book holder at the end of the pew. Leaning casually against the altar was a devil made of paper. Thousands of pages, wrapped and folded into a feminine shape with corkscrew horns — the writing of every land covered the paper. A contract devil!

“Say what you want, Simon of Gilead — my ink is ready and time is short.” the devil purred. “Your friends nearly destroyed me today — I delight in the delicious irony of this moment.”

“This only involves you and me.” Simon said. “You leave my friends out of this, or this conversation is over.”

Simon, you idiot. Elijah looked for another entrance into the church, where he could surprise the devil. The windows were too small and high, and he stood at the only door.

“I need a way into Gilead.” Simon was saying.

“Homesick, are we?” the paper devil laughed.

His brother turned his back to the devil, covering his eyes with his hand. Something that he did when greatly angered. “Can you do it?” Simon said fiercely.

“Of course I can – anything you want, son of Gilead. It’s as easy as signing your name — some loops, some lines, and the path opens.” the paper devil cooed.

Simon’s hand slid slowly down his face, his eyes to the ceiling as he thought.

Only Elijah saw the truth of the devil’s words. The paper coiling itself in her hands, forming a whip – barbed and jagged. Her arm raising to strike, the paper-whip silent in the air.

The old soldier shouted a battle cry, and flung the church doors open. “Gilead!”

He shouldered his brother roughly out of the way, and caught the whip in his hand. It coiled around his thick forearm like a serpent, the barbs digging into his flesh. They were paper maggots biting tearing. Elijah felt poison course through his veins and his heart staggered. The devil hissed in frustration and tugged on the whip, pulling it back.

Elijah forced his hand to grip the whip despite the pain. He pulled grimly on the whip, his eyes locked on the devil. The paper-whip was a part of the creature, and she could not let go.

“By the Swords of Faith, by the Temple of Iron Nails.” He prayed, and his god answered.

His greataxe felt weightless in his hand, and began to burn with a pure white light. Elijah smiled, a rare thing.

The devil hissed and fought, but the old soldier’s time was upon him. He was his brother’s keeper, and his strength would not fail. He stood, as he always did.

And he pulled. His vision narrowed as the devil drew closer, screaming in rage. He saw Simon leap onto the devil’s back, his arms locked around her paper throat — but it was on the edge of his sight.

The evil thing came close, and Elijah’s axe fell.

The paper burned in holy fire, leaving nothing but ash. The devil’s scream hung in the church, burning contracts falling around Elijah.

He sank to his knees, his heart beat slower.

Simon grabbed him by the front of his armor, and was saying something his eyes wide with concern. But no sound came out, his mouth moved and Elijah heard nothing.

The old soldier pulled himself to his feet, his brother helping him and continuing to talk silence. He couldn’t find his axe, but he knew what was required. He brought his savaged arm and hand to his head.

“The Watch stands.” he said.

His brother let go with a stricken look, and forced himself to return the salute.

“The Watch is relieved.” Simon said. “Dismissed.”

Elijah couldn’t hear it, but his brother’s voice broke.

Darkness came, and Elijah went. He sharpened his axe and stood guard. There was light and music ahead, but he had work to do.

No one would catch his brothers unaware. Not while he was on duty.

[Story on Demand for N.E. White — hope you enjoyed. But I must be honest, this story has been rolling around in my brain for a while now. Original character concept W. Steven Carroll, with much love and respect to my brother-in-arms.]