I have some friends performing an avant garde puppet show this weekend.

What, your friends don’t put on avant garde puppet shows?


Get better friends.

I contributed a couple of monologues to the project, so I’m beyond excited to sit down and see them performed. I was also working on a rockabilly theme song for the show, which sadly won’t be recorded in time. Here it is, for your entertainment pleasure.



blue swing

Ride on down to the river

Slide on down to the river

My babe and me

Being lazy and free

Hiding down by the river.


There’s something in the river — ooooh

Something the river — -yeah

come and lets see

what it might be

Floating along in the river



Peeking in the river — yeah

Sneaking in the river — ooooh

What could it be?

Take a look see

What’s that thing in the river?!?


rockabilly explosion – great balls of fire

Holy shit, and Sweet Baby Moses

I done stumbled  on a Psockosis!

My baby fell out

that aint no trout

I looked again

head started to spin

Hot damn and Sweet Baby moses

I done stumbled on a Psockosis!


Psockosis – yeah!

Psockosis – naw!

I bout had to pick up my jaw

Psockosis – yeah!

Psockosis -naw!

That damn sock is starting to talk!


Now I’m all alone on the river bank

My baby run off and you’re to thank

Can’t believe the hand I was dealt

my baby run off with a piece of felt!


Holy balls, and Sweet Baby Moses

I done stumbled on a Psockosis!

Heart broke and sad

feeling real bad

I waved goodbye

and started to cry

Shit fuck, and Sweet Baby Moses

I done stumbled on a Psockosis

Hot damn, on a Psockosis

Hot damn, on a Psockosis…





I Want

Artist Unknown
Artist Unknown

Like Heinlein said, I want the Roc’s Egg.

I want the leather of my sword-grip to creak as my knuckles go white. I want the lightning to crackle between my fingertips like Egg Shen. I want the Flux Capacitor to ignite as I travel through time.

I want the power, I want the fairy tale.

I want to run down the secret hallway, and slam my rainbow colored key into the console of the Black Lion.  I want to save the universe with Rock and Roll, my electric guitar made of steel and griffon-talon. I want to wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of Holmes and Watson clattering by in a horse-drawn carriage.

I want the legend, I want the world of doors.

I want the Master Sword dreaming in the glade, and Excalibur in the Lady’s hand, and Cloud picking up Zach’s sword — his mind all wind and shadow.

I want all the promises that the world is not as it seems. I want Mulder and Scully in a Ford Taurus arguing with the night. I want all the possibilities, the promise of wonder. I want Seven Dragonballs, even if I never get to make a wish.

I want the doors. The endless, endless doors.

I want this world to be not as it is. Or, at the very least, I want the walls of this world to get a little thinner. Thin enough to hear the music from the Universe One Over.

I want to tell my story and I want my mom to get better and I want there to be enough money and I want Emerson back. I want my Beloved to never know pain or doubt, and I want my friends to never know want or despair.

I want to break the rules. I want to undo and shine and defeat and cheat death, cheat life, mashing in the codes on my controller and rolling back the cruel grip of time.

I want to snatch the lost from death’s grip.

I want to not be afraid. Of the Unmaker and its thousand, thousand shadows.

I want there to be more magic in this world, because there is so little — just a tiny, tiny drop.

Such a little thing to shine in the darkness. The secret flame we clutch in weary hands through the wind and rain.

I want the thousand heroes, I want the doors open wide.

Most of all, I want you to help me pry them open.

The Reason I Wrote The Book

I think it’s this artwork right here.

Artist – Andrew – ~shu-no-kurohi.


I dropped a few copies of the book off at the high school I used to work at, with strict instructions that they be dispersed only to the truly devout nerds in attendance.

Today I got an email from one of my teacher friends, and my very first piece of true Spell/Sword fanart.  Also a sweet review:

Actually, I just finished the book right after I sent you the fanart. Overall, it was great. Maybe could’ve used a few runs of spell-check, but great overall. I’m a bit confused, though- you never really explained what Jonas did to earn the title of murderer. Is it going to be explained in the next book?
Also, your original cover is great. Really solid, yet open for ideas.
Dang, Andrew.  Why you gotta be like that about the Spell Checkery? That’s to be expected with Artisinal Fantasy. [COPYRIGHTED.]
My heart is glowing  in an embarrassing fashion. I’m so excited to put this on my internet refridgerator, and on my literal refrigerator after I print it out.
Thank you so much for the drawing and for reading the book, Andrew! I wrote the book for weird kids like you…and me.

Spell/Sword Unboxing – Extreme Happiness

There comes a moment as an author, when you know you’ve made it. When you know, just know that … it was all worth it.

That moment is now. Or rather, last night, the first time I saw this video.

One of my friends and first readers Allen Rowell, is local filmmaker and director in my hometown of Athens, GA — and he wasn’t satisfied with the simple ‘selfies’ that people have been taking as they receive their copy of the book.

He thought larger. Grander. Weirder.

This video is even more hilarious because it is clearly a recreation of some other unboxing video – THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN. So watching this was frankly surreal and I almost fell off the bed I was laughing so hard.

It’s support like this that helps me know that Swordpunk will rise up and crush all other fantasy genres.

Please watch and be converted.

Well done, Allen. [Let me know where I should link for you — your Youtube Channel? Or somewhere else?]

Short Story Spamtown


I’m considering entering a short story into the Sword&Laser Anthology, and I’ve been throwing the handful I’m considering up on my FB page for feedback.

Here’s a master post of all the ones in contention. The theme of the anthology is ‘unusual or unlikely’ stories within the science fiction or fantasy genre. Thoughts on these? Do you think I can whip one of these into shape, or should I start from scratch?

The Book of Teon – A demi-god records his final words and remembers an age of wonder.

Knight of the Scroll – A follow up to ‘Book of Teon’ a contemporary scholar studies the recording from the previous tale.

[I’m also considering combining these two into one story.]

You Can Call Me Isaac – 80’s period psychic soldiers battle for supremacy amidst the backdrop of Aaron Sorkin’s A Few Good Men. [yes, really.]

Star Prophet – My submission for ‘The New Yorker.’ Purposefully strange.

Simon Garamonde and the Lady Forechance – Really just microfiction, but sweet nonetheless.

Thoughts, comments and criticism are all appreciated. Submissions open on 5/1.

Book Two Planning

The Riddle Box - Graph Paper Planning
The Riddle Box – Graph Paper Planning


Oh nothing. Just my first official notes for The Riddle Box.  I still need to decide on a lot of character names [probably won’t until I get into the first draft] and the timeline is wafer-thin — but here is the proto-skeletal structure of my second book.

So, for those of you finishing Spell/Sword and wondering where The Riddle Box is…whelp, this is what I have so far. And a lot of crazy ideas.

Ahhh…this is much more exciting than begging for reviews.