Such a proud papa am I.
Archive for April, 2012
A tableau in three parts.
A greatroom, filled with books and broad wooden chairs.
A small black-haired girl, strung from blue cord, hanging from the ceiling. Tears pour down her face, her lips tightly shut.
A vicious scorpion-creature menaces her, its body covered in fire-red carapace and spikes. The tip of its tail drips venom, held a hair’s breadth from the child’s neck.
The creature looks up in surprise, but the stinger does not waver.
Okay — so I’ve shirked long enough, time to answer the questions from this week’s story prompt. Sorry for the delay – I was just FOCUSING ON MY FREAKING ROUGH DRAFT.
El Capitan -What do you think will be the next big manufactured craze? Like pomegranates or acai berry. I believe it will be walnuts.
Walnuts are a strong possibility – but I’m telling you right now, it’s going to be jodhpurs. Twelve year-old girls just strutting around, society and morals be damned.
Nila – You know those tabby things that fill the holes of input/output thingies on your device or phone or whatever? Yeah, those are pretty nifty, don’t you think? Sometimes I wish they had those sorts of things for human orifices…
Well, they do. Pacifiers, butt plugs, nose plugs, blindfolds — and though I shudder to think, but I’m guessing there’s some sort of device that plugs up your plumbing completely, for fun and profit. I personally kind of hate putting covers and cases on my technology — my phone deserves to be NAKED and PROUD.
Jason – How bout a story about this time you got tagged? http://jasondegray.wordpress.com/2012/04/01/tagged/
ERG. So many questions — so much work — so….lazy…..zzzzz…….
Rebecca – You need to write a story about soft shell crab sandwiches. (with the little legs hanging out of the bun)
That is horrifying.I’m imagining the little legs wriggling as I bite down — quickly flashing the crab sign language for “Help” and “Pain” and “God” over and over and over. You are a monster, madam.
Marisa – What mythological beast – assuming it could speak – do you think you would find it most challenging to write dialog for and why?
As already discussed — it wouldn’t be Minotaurs. I have like 8 notebooks crammed full of sparkling dialogue about horn care and maze-related metaphors.
I’m going to have to go with Medusa. I just wouldn’t be able to resist making each tendril of her snake-hair a separate character. That would be conservatively 40 different voices all vying for dialogue — a Cowboy Snake, a Sleepy Snake, a Snake with Crippling Depression, a Snake that Speaks only in Haiku — it goes on. It would be a sort of literary blackhole from which I would never emerge.
Thanks for the questions everybody!
Of the book.
That I wrote.
Ahead of schedule — 4 pages and about 5000 more words than I planned for the rough draft.
In the dark of the night, I got to type “THE END” for the first time in my life.
Man, it felt good.
Like PUNCHING A MANTICORE IN THE FACE IN BETWEEN BLISTERING KEY-TAR SOLOS -GOOD.
I know I’m a long way from being finished — I have a lot of editing, a lot of fleshing out, a lot of work still to do.
And let’s be honest — I’ll probably hate 45% of what I read, cutting and slashing with my seafoam green Sharpie.
And I know this is in no way impressive to the bulk of my WordPress pals — some of you with five or more novels under your name.
But this is my first time making it to base camp, before the final assault to the peak of BOOK MOUNTAIN.
So pass me some hot cocoa, and keep your snickering to a minimum.
Have you ever tried writing a climactic fight scene, from two different character perspectives — with two separate fights occurring concurrently — against a crazed dual-wielding assassin and a wizard that can see the future?
Now — have you EVER TRIED WRITING that same scene in between phone calls from nice church ladies about hand fans for Sunday, phone calls from idiot college students about coffee mugs, and phone calls that include diatribes about the exact PMS shade that would be appropriate for a “lavender” themed event.
Well — it’s hard.
I had this epiphany myself about nine months ago — follow the link below to have it eloquently explained.
Now back, to JUST FINISHING. HAR. Har.
I am hilarious.
I’m in the home stretch of the book – only one more ridiculous fight scene to go.
Feeling some apprehension — this fight has to be face meltingly-awesome — like as awesome as every barbarian-robot doodle in a thousand 12 year old’s journals compressed into a single white-hot point of universe destroying badassitude.
Here we go….